The postpartum period is one of the most misunderstood times in a woman’s life. Often, it’s like a secret club that you don’t get invited to until you are already in the throes of it. And by then, it’s too late. You’re left commiserating rather than feeling fully present, prepared, and blissful in your postpartum.
Being supported in postpartum is not just about having a community care for you. Although that’s a traditional practice that still holds value today, it’s not realistic to expect and often leaves a mother feeling powerless and like a failure for not being able to have a helpful family and friends cater to her needs..
And support in postpartum goes BEYOND community. It’s also about the way a mother chooses to fully prepare herself physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
It’s time that we really dive into postpartum care. That we spend as much time preparing for this time as we do the birth of our baby.
It’s time we invest in the care of becoming a mother as we do in the act of mothering, when our baby receives more than everything they could ever need.
This isn’t just about making sure you have the right things. Or have prepped the right meals. Or that you have hired the perfect postpartum doula.
It’s also about the KNOWLEDGE is takes to understand how our own body works, what it needs to heal and grow. To fully grasp how you control your own hormones. To know how the brain works in postpartum. And how to be the best version of yourself through this transition without getting lost.
It’s also about finding your rhythm, your peace, your flow. It’s about carving time for you without guilt. And reconnecting with your partner at a deeper level than you had before because you recognize the beauty of what you created together.
WE NEED YOUR STORY!
Motherhood is learned. And one of the most powerful ways in which we learn to care for our sweet babies in postpartum is through the voices and stories of other women. There is nothing more profoundly beautiful and real than aligning with who you truly are and understanding what is most necessary for your own personal journey.
And that’s exactly what we’re doing here.
It’s finally HERE! The third book to complete the Supported In Motherhood Series is looking for your postpartum story.
Filled with your rejuvenating wisdom, we are gathering your REAL story of postpartum to be published in the last book: Supported in Postpartum: Stories of Rejuvenating Wisdom.
The current book series has been a number one for natural mamas for nearly two years with shipments and digital downloads around the world. This series sells in bookstores, Amazon, midwifery offices, pediatric clinics supporting natural birth and breastfeeding, chiropractic centers, and so much more.
And we’re excited to finally finish the series with your empowering wisdom on postpartum.
Here’s How it Goes:
Over the next month, we’ll be gathering your written stories. We’ll be selecting essays, poems, images, and compilations that you share with us, meant to depict the REAL postpartum through the eyes of REAL women. These stories can be about the trials, tribulations, beauty, rawness, love, and all the things in between. Selected stories will be from those that speak this truth, but are also written to inspire, transform, validate, and empower the readers to prepare, nourish, and care for their body and soul in postpartum and beyond. There’s no other qualifications!
Please note that BLISSFUL stories are welcome and encouraged, as well as the difficult stories. However, keep in mind ALL stories should lead to a great lesson. Extra note: breastfeeding is a part of many postpartum stories, however, the second book in our series is dedicated to this topic. Please don’t make your story evolve around breastfeeding.
Once we have a large amount of stories, there will be a period of time to go through and select the ones for the book. If yours is selected, you’ll be notified via email and updated with current publication information and happenings. Expected publication/release date: December 1st, 2019.
SUBMIT YOUR STORY HERE:
CHECK OUT THE OTHER BOOKS IN THE SERIES!
Want to know how to make the birth of your baby the best experience ever?
Want to know how to breastfeeding and wean naturally, at your baby’s request?
Today, there are thousands of programs, books, and how-to internet guides that promise to give you everything you need to take control of your birth and beyond.
But the knowledge of birth, breastfeeding, and postpartum are fundamental. All this extra technology, these theories and thoughts, are piled on top of the most elemental and basic science, diluting the truth to meaningless information.
In my postpartum book series, you’ll find all those extra layers, all that gunk, stripped away. What lies beneath are beautiful, heart-felt, deeply rooted truths. What remains is the ancient wisdom of birth and postpartum, the very core of a natural beginning.
And How it’s a Leading Cause of the Postpartum Depression Epidemic and the Rise of Autoimmune Diseases
Our modern world has failed to understand how radically
unique the postpartum body is that we are on the verge of destroying the very
mothers this time transforms. In our busy life, we take great pride in being
able to return to the normalcy of life before baby as if having a child didn’t
change a thing. In reality, growing a life within changes us mothers so deeply,
that even the very cells in our body are forever altered.
In pregnancy, much has been done to understand nutrition and
the best way to support our growing baby. The science and wisdom for postpartum
however, has been practically dismissed. Worse is that it’s assumed that one
should simply continue eating as they had done before pregnancy, or better yet,
as they had done during pregnancy. Nothing is further from the truth.
In fact, eating in postpartum is counter-intuitive to everything you are being told right now. When you look at the symptoms of postpartum moms and the significant amount of discomforts they experience, one has to ask the question “is this supposed to be difficult or is there a far better way?”
In looking deeper into what postpartum mothers often experience, we see over 30% of moms go through depression. That doesn’t include the women who keep silent or don’t know they are in the fog until it lifts. This statistic doesn’t account for postpartum anxiety, postpartum bi-polar, psychosis, OCD, or any other mental health challenges that develops post birth. These mental health disruptions effect how we raise our baby, interact with our partner and the world around us, how we handle stress, and so much more. The effects are so serious and they leave lasting impressions, and with rates in our culture soaring so high, it’s a wonder why it hasn’t been called a national epidemic.
Of further concern, and one of the more serious postpartum epidemics, is that of autoimmune diseases. Women are at a significant risk for getting a serious life-altering disease, where her own body attacks itself, after having given birth. One study connected having a cesarean to a 30% increased risk for developing an autoimmune disease within the first few years after having a child. Not only are these life altering, they are downright difficult, expensive, and life-threatening (autoimmune disease means a much greater risk of developing cancer as well). Surprisingly, much of this is can be tied directly to the way we nourish (or don’t nourish) our body in postpartum.
To understand why this is happening, it’s critical that you fully understand the seven key misconceptions of postpartum nutrition. When you fully comprehend these ideas as the false information they are, you can begin the process of healing your postpartum deeply, while protecting the body from disease and mental health challenges.
I’ve put together a PDF downloadable cheat sheet of the 7 Misconceptions of Postpartum Nutrition, which also contains bonus information on what you need to know if you have the MTHFR gene mutation, and how you can control its gene in your newborn baby.
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1. It’s okay to eat “cold” foods, especially nutrient rich smoothies and some good ol’ ice water
At first, it sounds absolutely crazy but I’m not the only
person to tell you ice water and smoothies, and anything cold in general,
should be minimized or eliminated in postpartum completely. Many cultures
practice this today, as it’s believed that letting in cold will bring upon
illness and is detrimental for the postpartum body. And here are exactly why
those ancient culture’s views are correct.
First and foremost, the postpartum body isn’t one that is just healing from birth, whether vaginally or from a cesarean, it’s also healing from carrying a baby within womb for nine months. For a significant amount of time, your body has literally grown another human being. All by its lonesome. And healing in postpartum is a culmination of pregnancy and birth, all rolled into one. Essentially, the body is very weak and contains a gaping wound within it. Not to mention mamas who may have torn, had a traumatic birth, or experienced a cesarean (all of which add another layer of necessary healing).
When we go to the doctor for a massive wound and are put in
recovery, the protocol is NOT to put ice or cold on it but the complete
opposite. Let the healing wound be warm and dry, which stimulates proper blood
flow that brings vital nutrients and clotting to the wound for healing. In
postpartum, the “wound” is practically your entire body, especially within your
center which contains the uterus. Whatever you eat and drink will immediately
effect this area of the body. Cold also prevents proper oxygenation, a
necessary tool in combating harmful bacteria, and even prevents regeneration of
tissue within the uterus and perineum.
But that isn’t everything. Cold foods and drinks also contract blood vessels and makes it harder for the body to digest nutrients, especially fats (which are essential in postpartum for healing and your milk supply for baby). Even when a body isn’t in postpartum, it will expend a great deal of energy warming up the consumed contents to an acceptable temperature within your body. And energy isn’t something a postpartum body has a great deal of, and it’s certainly not something you want to give away to warming whatever you ingested.
The moral of this misconception is to stay far away from cold foods and drinks. Make sure what you ingest is at least room temperature.
2. You should return to eating like you were in pregnancy. Or even before.
Eating during this time is radically different than eating in pregnancy or pre-pregnancy. And here’s why: your postpartum body lacks digestive enzymes, which are necessary for breaking up foods and suppling your body with nutrients needed for hormone balance and regulation, milk supply, and overall healing and health.
Due to the amount of energy necessary to break down foods,
it’s simply easier for the body to receive foods that are easy to digest. Foods
that are easy to digest also tend to be heavily nutrient dense. By requiring
the body to eat these foods, it’s able to get what it needs faster and without
exerting any extra energy to get there.
Often, this is the very reason why most women experience
intense gas and bloating in postpartum. Many times, that extends to
indigestion, hemorrhoids post-birth, and a host of other gut issues. When you
cannot break down the foods you’re ingesting, the food just… sits there. It
essentially starts rotting in your belly. Which then causes the gas, bloating
and so on. If it continues without correction, you develop a “leaky gut”,
meaning you become the proud owner of food sensitivities and allergies. This is
also the main cause for the rise in autoimmune diseases.
Many women usually ask “well I can just take digestive
enzymes then, right?” The answer is sure, but I don’t recommend it. We don’t
fully understand why the postpartum body lacks enzymes, which means it’s even
important to allow the body to regulate itself first before adding anything
additional to facilitate it. Often, adding herbs, essential oils, or gut
stimulating supplements such as enzymes, will cause a misbalance to occur.
Until it becomes a problem that needs correcting, allow the body to naturally
regulate its digestive enzyme levels. Until then, eat warm foods that are very
easy to digest and nutrient dense.
3. It’s okay if you don’t want any food at all in postpartum.
As a Postpartum Bliss Coach, I often run into a mama who
just had a baby but has little to no appetite. If this is you, there is a
problem at hand.
When breastfeeding, you require at least another 500
calories in your diet. For many mamas, this usually results in an insatiable
appetite, especially after feeling so limited after third trimester.
Although most lack of appetite is related to postpartum
depression, that’s not the only cause.
First and foremost, make sure that you are eating warm foods that are easy to digest. If you aren’t, this could cause a multitude of gut issues that can make food less than desirable. Sometimes if you’ve been eating a diet that doesn’t support your body’s needs for some time, including foods that you may be allergic or sensitive to and may not know about, your nutrition levels could already be suffering. If you already have these issues, and then eat a diet that’s not supportive of postpartum healing, you enter a zone where thyroid issues become likely.
Another common issue for not wanting to eat in postpartum is to gain a certain level of control in the midst of chaos. If you are someone who needs to feel in control all the time, postpartum can have often leave you feeling powerless. Whether conscious or unconscious, moms will use food as a means to gain whatever control they feel they need.
Whatever the issue is, not eating in postpartum may be
common but that doesn’t mean it’s okay in the least bit. Make sure you are
eating right, check for depression and the need to be in control, and get your
thyroid checked if necessary.
4. Breastfeeding will help you lose those pregnancy pounds, especially if you diet.
This is just plain false and usually has the opposite
effect. If you aren’t following the warm food and nutrient dense protocol
mentioned above, you aren’t getting enough nutrients into your body, and you’re
likely feeling sluggish, exhausted, and like a hormonal hot mess. It’s so easy
to blame the fact that you have a newborn in your life who’s responsible for
all of this. And to some degree, that’s certainly very true. However, you
control much more than you think.
When your body is lacking, it lives in a state of stress.
Quite simply, eating a limited diet that doesn’t support a postpartum body will
make your hold onto more because it’s afraid it won’t get enough. To make it
worse, when you aren’t getting the right nutrients, it becomes more difficult
to sleep. Nutrients and sleep are essential for hormone regulation. Without
balanced hormones meant for postpartum, you have milk supply issues and
problems regulating your weight.
As a side note, weight loss in postpartum should be the LAST thing on a mama’s agenda. Instead, focus on having a healthy body in which you can build a solid foundation. Postpartum is a time when every layer of your being is shed. You have the power to heal your deepest wounds and traumas and reconnect with your truest being. When you care and nourish yourself thoroughly, you have the power to walk away feeling stronger than you did before pregnancy. Imagine rocking the best body you’ve ever had with a toddler on your hip. Eat right and don’t work out in the first several months (that’s another post).
5. Not eating meat is fine, as long as you supplement.
Living a vegetarian or vegan lifestyle has amazing
environmental benefits, offers a way to help “clean” the gut, and provides a
powerful means to spirituality. But when it comes to nutrition in postpartum,
it isn’t something you can just forgo, even if you supplement with pills.
Your body is meant to eat meat. You have teeth specifically
designed to eat it, a gut to process it, and a body that requires certain
nutrients from it. I’m not here to berate you into why you need to eat meat
(I’m the first to tell you every body has different needs), but in the case of
postpartum nutrition, it’s an essential.
There are certain nutrients, such as B12, which are vital in the development of red blood cells and nerve regeneration, that are necessary for your uterus in healing. However, taking a B12 supplement doesn’t just solve the problem. A supplement only consists on the basic item itself. A B12 vitamin is just a B12 vitamin. What’s missing is the other components only offered in meat (creatine for energy, carnosine for muscle function, heme-iron for easy digestion) and so much more that science has yet to fully understand it all. Protein from animals is also far easier to digest and requires less energy for the body to digest than other protein sources and supplements.
Almost every culture and religion on the planet has a
specific diet plan for postpartum and every single on of them contain meat
(except those strong of the Hindu religion). The necessity of the nutrients
derived from meat are notable for their effects on breastmilk and supply, mood
regulation (vegetarians and vegans are at an increased risk for postpartum
depression), and overall lessoning the healing time of moms.
It’s also important to note that the meat you consume plays
a drastic role in your health, just as everything you put in your body.
Whenever possible, eat organic grass-fed animals, preferably from a local
connection to ensure quality and freshness.
6. Vitamins will cover the imbalances.
It’s no joke that our food lacks the nutritional levels it once did in before industrialization of society. To consume the same amount of nutrient levels from a handful of leafy greens in 1840, we’d have to consume handfuls among handfuls in today’s world. Because of this fact and the difficulty in getting what our body needs, even when not in postpartum, we’ve come to rely on supplements.
Supplements play a major role in pregnancy and as every
provider will tell you, a necessary component to growing a healthy baby.
However, there is a massive problem with supplements.
First, they aren’t to be treated equally. Supplements aren’t
a regulated industry and there are several concerns for the quality of products
on the market. How to even know if your body is responding well to a vitamin is
purely individual. And often, this leads to lots of money spent finding the
perfect match, especially for higher quality supplements.
In postpartum, the body changes rapidly and what once worked
in pregnancy may not work well after the baby. It’s also very challenging for
the body to break down a multi-vitamin that’s been engineered to fit inside a
Never rely on vitamins to get the essential nutrients your postpartum body needs. Instead, use highly nutrient dense food, being careful to not leave behind any gaps. Generally, this process is handled by a tribe of women who take on the responsibility of a new mother, but as that time in our history lapses, it’s important to plan our postpartum nutrition plan in pregnancy, so that we don’t fall short of feeling overburdened by our own nutritional needs.
7. You should simply follow the RDA (recommended dietary allowances), science, and your doctor’s advice.
Want to know a little secret? RDA (a measuring tool set for
determining what your daily nutrient intake should be) is a made-up set of
numbers, determined by a panel of people who decided that those numbers were
the optimal level we humans should be getting. Although most of this is based
in science, it’s still a very difficult subject to understand and it’s
constantly under review and changing.
The problem is that the scientific method breaks down
information to study one simple component of nutrition. The whole of nutrition
is so complex, that it cannot be considered. So although we learn much from
isolating specific nutrients and studying them, there is a significant gap in
how it relates to the whole body. It’s also interesting to note that the most
of these studies are completed using the RDA’s as their way of determining
what’s important, and these numbers vary in recommendation per country. Japan’s
recommendations are higher than America’s, and so on.
Not only is science limited and ever evolving, your doctor’s
education in nutrition is not. Unfortunately, even when it comes to prenatal
care, most doctors have not trained or even taken a class on the subject.
What does this mean for you? It quite simply means that the
way you nurture your body is ultimately in your hands. The way you eat and care
for yourself and your baby is solely your responsibility, and a great big one
at that. As our cultures shift to more individual and less community oriented,
the obligation falls on you, the mother. The only person who can take charge
and care for you is YOU. It’s important that you pay special attention to how
your body responds to food, adjust accordingly, and plan accordingly.
Download your cheat sheet of the 7 Misconceptions of Postpartum Nutrition, which also contains bonus information on what you need to know if you have the MTHFR gene mutation, and how you can control its gene in your newborn baby.
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If you’d like to dive deeper, I created a 5 part video series Blissful Postpartum Nutritional Healing Series: 5 Days to Building Strength and Health with Food in the Fourth Trimester and share everything I know on how to support you in eating the right foods postpartum. Want to watch? Click here. I dive deep into these 7 misconceptions and how to support you in eating the right foods postpartum.
Join the Blissful Mamas Facebook group for the nutritional series and webinar! Click here to join.
If you are wanting specifics on what to eat, including a 6-week Postpartum Meal Plan, how to meal prep in pregnancy, shopping and implementation guides, you can apply to work with me one-on-one. Here, I address your specific and personal needs within postpartum and give you the tools and resources to make it happen. You can apply to work with me here.
Before having kids, I didn’t have a clue what the word “natural” implied. It simply didn’t matter much if something fit into this sort of genre.
But things IMMEDIATELY changed when I got pregnant. Everything went organic, natural, and homemade whenever I could. I learned to sew and can foods, garden and everything in between.
Did this happen to you too?
In my years working with mamas, I find that this experience is something that happens to many of us. There is something magical about pregnancy that brings us back to our roots, to a time when these things were simply a way of life. The word “natural” even didn’t exist in context.
Motherhood in our society has taken a steep turn in the opposite direction from this way of living but much like a swinging pendulum, we mamas are yearning for something more and making the turn back to our earthly roots.
You certainly don’t have to be “that” kind of mama to want more for you and your baby. Natural and organic are linked to healthier families, and with sky-rocking healthcare costs and a surge of illnesses that sweep our country every year, it’s simply a new necessity to living.
In working with postpartum, I’ve also found that many homemade balms, salves, and blends have been genuinely nourishing and healing; not only amazing as a preventative tool, but also effective, many times, far more effective than prescription medications.
Over the last decade, I’ve gathered an astounding list of 30+ natural recipes that are effective at preventing, healing, and rejuvenating both mama and baby. They are so amazing, that I still use them today, even for my pre-teen kids!
This last week, I launched a new eCourse and PDF download called Natural Recipes for Postpartum Healing and Everyday Living. In it, there are recipes, videos, and how-to’s specific for balancing hormones, breastfeeding, cesarean healing, belly healing, general postpartum healing, and so much more!
All recipes are long studied traditional (even ancient) recipes and tools, found from studying other cultures, Chinese Medicine, and modern postpartum needs. And of course, ALL recipes are safe for mom, baby, and breastfeeding.
Here’s a few of my most absolute favorite recipes!
Scar & Stretch Mark Salve
Small glass jar
1/4 cup shea butter
2 tbsp. almond oil
1/4 cup coconut oil
1 tbsp. calendula flowers
1/4 tsp. dried ginger root
Place the calendula flowers in a small size canning jar, along with the almond oil. With the lid on, warm the ingredients in a double boiler. After 45 minutes, remove the jar and let cool. Once the oil infusion reaches room temperature, strain the mixture into a pot using a cheesecloth. Squeeze out the flowers before discarding. Add the other ingredients to the pot and heat until melted, stirring constantly. Pour into a small glass jar and let cool completely before use.
Sleepy Time Baby Balm
Medium glass jar
1/4 cup shea butter
1/4 cup coconut oil
20 drops lavender essential oil
10 drops frankincense essential oil
15 drops roman chamomile essential oil
Warm the shea butter and coconut oil in a pot on the stove. Continually mix until completely melted. Add the essential oils and mix. Pour mixture into the glass jar and let cool completely before placing the lid on or using. During your sleep time routine, rub the balm on your baby’s toes, temples, or chest to help them calm and find a peaceful sleep.
Your mind, body, and baby are incredibly important and because of the rawness of the postpartum time, you need the best and most purest form of support.
I’m going to give you the first 8 pages of the 38-page PDF recipe book, so you, as one of my favorite mamas, can see and enjoy this amazing healing too.
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You can get the full Recipe Guide, along with an 11-part video series here.
In the eCourse, you’ll get:
You will get lifetime access to my recipe book and my accompanying video series…because these healing methods go far beyond the postpartum period.
Powerful postpartum healing recipes to ease discomfort and speed up the healing process
My secret recipe for an all-natural scar and stretch mark salve
Safe and gentle recipes for diapering, moisturizing, and teething babies
Breastfeeding recipes that increase milk supply and ease initial discomfort
Baby balms and essential oil blends that encourage better sleep patterns
When I became pregnant for the first time, I was sure this was going to be the best thing EVER (uh, after the first trimester, right?). I had been a preschool teacher for nearly ten years. The whole parenting thing was going to my gig. And I was certain I was best trained for the job.
Not only was I certain of my parenting abilities (which, by the way, have all gone out the window four kids later), I was confident in giving birth too. I studied everything birth and baby related: how to avoid a cesarean, every birth option available, and the safest car seat, stroller, and nail clipper on the market.
Actually, I became inundated with the science of birth. I dived into more than just mama blogs including scientific journals, clinical research, and cohort studies. I read every book, and practiced every recommended technique available.
But I had completely forgotten something massively important.
Sure, I had some heavy duty pads. And an herbal sitz bath blend my midwife insisted I have on hand. These two items made up my entire postpartum care.
Where It All Went Wrong
And then it happened. I didn’t rock the birth like I thought I would. I fell apart about three centimeters in into a contracting puddle of tears. I roared and cried my way through seventeen hours of raw birth. And pushed out the most amazing joy of my life (only after declaring I was done and I didn’t have to do it anymore…not exactly how things work).
It took me nearly two weeks to be able to walk straight. I cried when realizing that the advice to shop for a nursing bra after your milk came (day three for me) wasn’t going to happen. I didn’t sleep for a month because I kept processing my birth experience and that later transgressed into a fear of my son not breathing in his sleep. I struggled with exhaustion, diaper explosions, bleeding nipples, the guilt of co-sleeping vs. crib, and just about every decision on the planet seemed to be swirling in my head.
I felt like a burden to my family. They’d say “Come on Maranda. You’re two weeks in. Why can’t you do this?” I didn’t understand why everything was so difficult.
Not only did it take me a significant time to heal physically, but my emotional self fell completely apart. My deep and loving relationship with my son, the soul gazing moments we shared in the beginning, were long gone. The only thing we shared were tears; his of typical baby needs and mine of complete overwhelm. I had fallen into postpartum depression.
About six months postpartum, I made my son a promise to get ME back. I didn’t know what had happened but I was determined to find my way out so I could be best for my baby. It didn’t take me long to figure out what went on.
I spent nine solid months preparing for one of the most profound and intense moments of motherhood: labor and birth.
I spent zilch time (nada, nothing, nil), on preparing for the critical weeks after birth that would shape my health and my relationship with my child for life.
The Forgotten Postpartum
Why, in all my studies, did I completely miss postpartum? How is it that I didn’t prepare for this time, and in the process, my health completely fell apart? Don’t women do this all the time?
Turns out, my story is fairly similar to millions of mamas. MILLIONS. Say what?!
Postpartum is such a raw and emotional time. And somewhere down the timeline of history (more like HERstory), its sacredness became a secret. Women moved from small tight-knit communities to individual homes in the industrial era making women move through this time alone. Men took over the role of birth, medicalizing the process and stripping away the spirituality and the importance of the birth of a mother. Generations began to forget, eventually never knowing what truly happens in postpartum. And ultimately, we mamas began suffering in silence after having a baby. Certainly, no one else experiences such intense feelings in postpartum.
So the silence continues. And the long forgotten wisdom of postpartum goes on unused and undisturbed. And our cultures’ mothers go on suffering in quite tears.
The Secret to an Amazing Postpartum
Eventually, about a year after my studies of postpartum, healing, and self-care, I found myself again. I wasn’t the same person however, as I had been changed by motherhood and the perils of postpartum depression. But I knew something that most women didn’t. And I was determined to share it with others.
An amazing postpartum is actually fairly common in many cultures. Standard practices are put in place to help a new mama and baby heal and bond together through ancient healing practices, common sense, and an unyielding support team. By the third trimester, the childbearing mama has a plan in motion, and a community supporting her in it.
In more Western societies, these practices don’t exist. After 24 hours of giving birth, a new mama is sent home and expected to make an appointment with her provider in six weeks. Six weeks before she speaks to someone about her birth. Six weeks before she gets any further advice or guidance. And in that sixth week, someone will put their hand in her, accessing her cervix and uterus, and then declare that she’s back to “normal”. They might ask her a few questions about postpartum depression. And then send her on her way, making her think that she’s no longer postpartum because she’s back to her normal self. Nothing could be further from the truth.
The truth is that postpartum is deeply and unequivocally a sacred rite to motherhood that can profoundly affect you for the rest of your life. The first six weeks are what shapes your health and bond with your baby forever. The truth is that is takes effort in pregnancy to plan for such a time as postpartum.
And the planning begins by first asking yourself the right questions. What is it that you want? What will help you heal? Who needs to help you in your journey?
Getting a clear picture of what you want and how you will approach this period will help shape your ultimate postpartum. Get your vision straight. Gather your materials. Get your support team in place. And when things happen without a hitch (or even when the unexpected comes into play), you’ll have what you need to make the best of postpartum.
Here are just a few questions to help you plan a better postpartum:
What kind of meal preparation do you plan to incorporate? Bulk freezer meals? Meal train?
Will you be using your placenta for encapsulation?
Who will be present at your postpartum?
How do you want to handle visitors?
I’ve put together a PDF download just for you with a list of over 20 questions, broken up into several sections that will help you get a clear idea of what kind of postpartum you envision for yourself and how to plan for the most important time of your life and your baby’s life.
Of course, you can download your free copy here!
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Tell me mama. Did you plan for your postpartum? What questions do you think are important to ask in starting your postpartum plan?
From that moment of conception, everything inside you changes. Your heart, body, voice, mind, and spirit will be shaped into that of a mother. Literally, every cell in your body becomes influenced by your child, shifting your hormones, behavior, physicality, and even changing your brain chemistry.
And although pregnancy and birth are the forefront of our thoughts as this transition ensues, postpartum is where we as mothers encounter the greatest amount of change. And this change and the way we experience postpartum, shapes a mother (and baby) for life.
So it becomes surprising then, that we don’t spend more time preparing and planning for this vital and influential time.
Actually, in many cultures, the postpartum period is considered a sacred time of healing and rejuvenation. Many believe that women possess the Godly power of healing her whole self after the birth of a baby. A new mother spends a minimum of 40 days being waited on, given certain meals, ample rest, daily massage, and the utmost gentleness and care as she rests and bonds with her baby.
But our culture’s definition of postpartum falls short and completely lacks the sacredness of other cultures around the world. In fact, it has become a clinical medical term that states “The puerperium is the period of a few weeks that starts immediately after delivery and is completed when the reproductive tract has returned anatomically to the normal nonpregnant condition. Although the changes occurring during this period are physiologic, in few, if any, other circumstances are there such marked and rapid metabolic events in the absence of disease.” (Pritchard and MacDonald, 1976) In over 40 years, the definition of postpartum has barely changed. And neither has our approach.
The Postpartum Body in Layers
So what is our culture missing?
When a woman gives birth to her baby, no matter if vaginally or by cesarean, her body has just shed layers upon layers of her being. Eastern cultures relate giving birth to a baby as losing all warmth and life within. Spending 9 months growing a baby with all of your being, then pushing it out of your body, it’s easy to see how a piece of you goes along with. We mamas must learn to love our self, which now is another being living on the outside of your body. And then you must heal from that.
Not only has your newly postpartum body shed layers of your being, it remains open; a Goliath wound right in your very center. Your body, its layers gone, its center wide open, makes this the most raw and sacred of occasions. There is nothing to hide you. There is nothing to show but your truth. And all of that is new, because motherhood has changed everything.
It is here where your entire health and well-being lie after birth. This is the very place that defines your life forever, including that of your baby’s.
In this place, your postpartum body is like a sponge, soaking up everything it comes in contact with. Everything near you becomes a part of you. And everything effects you at a much deeper and profound level, because there is nothing there filling that space within you. So everything you eat and drink goes deeper. Everything you wear (lotions, products, clothing) becomes a part of you. Even the energy being carried into your room has the ability to shift your entire being. The thoughts you think, the challenges you face, and the experiences you give yourself all play a major role in how you heal over time.
When I learned all of this, it was like all the pieces of my own postpartum came swirling together and it all made perfect sense.
A Promise of Postpartum Well-being
Cleary, everything you do and encounter during this time effects you. But in what way?
We all see it time and time again. Women who don’t rest during this time bleed longer. The uterus is a wound needing the utmost time to heal and movement only lengthens the need for healing time, and even can cause other uterine infections and problems. But what is a woman to do? Massage, my dear. One of the most lost postpartum traditions in our culture. Fully body massages (done right) will give a mama all the blood flow she needs, while working out body kinks, and releasing her from the desire to move around (although the desire for a clean house may still persist!).
Women who don’t rest and allow negativity into her space experience exhaustion faster, along with higher rates of postpartum mood disorders, and hormonal imbalances.
Women who doesn’t eat the proper foods experience gassiness, stomach and digestive issues, and usually see autoimmune problems get worse or develop around this time.
And your baby is greatly affected by all this as well. Your hormones play a role in breastfeeding. Your moods and feelings help or hinder bonding. And bonding triggers certain genes within your baby’s body to work or lay dormant. The relationship your baby builds with you in the first 10 days of life influence baby for their entire existence. It’s called epigenetics; one of the most fascinating topics ever (next to postpartum, of course). But don’t fret, mama. If you didn’t bond right away, you’re definitely not the only one. It isn’t about the connection as much as it is the process. I feel you, mama.
But what happens when you rest your body until your body heals completely? What happens when you set up your environment to protect you from negativity, overwhelm, daily stress, and toxins (in food and everywhere else)?
Those missing layers you had shed in birth begin to grow back. Like springtime petals on a blooming rose, each new layer envelopes you in its softness and protection. You become anything you choose, and all of those battle wounds, scrapes and scratches of life, become replaced by a new layer of hope, healing, and rejuvenation. I have witnessed disease disappear, old emotional wounds come to a close, and a woman’s true being and fullest potential come to light.
This all may sound hokey pokey. You might be reading this and thinking, what it this woman talking about?! But I bet you live in a culture that depicts pregnancy and birth as a “condition” rather than a state of being. You and I live in a place that thinks postpartum ends when the uterus is no longer bleeding around 6 weeks. Every mother in their right mind will tell you that’s crap. What I’m sharing with you may sound radically different but to other cultures, they are shaking their heads saying “yes, so what’s your point, Maranda?” And that’s my point, mama.
So What’s Your Plan?
This isn’t something that you can just make happen after the birth of your baby. Creating a healing space during this raw and vulnerable transition in life takes time and planning before the birth of your baby. There is a way, and by following a postpartum map on how to prepare yourself and be mindful of your needs (and therefore baby’s needs) will be the tool that gets you there.
What if you are already postpartum and you’ve missed the first 40 days of deep rawness? It’s not too late, mama. Start now. Start quickly. And give yourself even more love and grace and time for healing and rest.
So how exactly, do you shape your well-being positively during postpartum? Well, mama. I have you covered.
In your Guiding Steps to a Mindful Postpartum, I list the 12 steps necessary for creating the best and most healing postpartum experience. These 12 steps will be everything you need to getting prepared for the postpartum and beyond. Because what you do now will effect you for a lifetime.
You can download your free Guiding Steps to a Mindful Postpartum right here, mama. And if you want to take it a step further, you can get on the waitlist for the Mindful Postpartum eCourse: A Rock-Solid System for Healing Your Postpartum Body, Mind, and Soul (in just 40 days), which opens exclusively once a year, with limited registrations available. Every step, recipe, and science will be discussed fully within the course.
Get your guiding steps here! And link on the image below to get on the waitlist for the Mindful Postpartum Healing eCourse.
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Tell me, mama.
How does this resonate with you? Did you have that ah-ha moment about your previous birth experiences, or even your first one coming up? In thinking about the birth of my son, and how my entire postpartum shifted when my then mother-in-law walked in the door. Oh. My. Word. Thankfully, I’ve given birth two more times since then and therefore given ample space to heal from that experience! <3
Welcome to Serenity Grows, mama! I am thrilled you are here as I have so much to share with you.
The first thing you need to know is that this isn’t your typical postpartum village.
This isn’t about depression. Nor is it about hemorrhage or anxiety or scary baby stuff (although I’ll surely be covering these). Those are simply small pieces of postpartum but they certainly don’t define it.
Google “postpartum” and the only thing you get are the scaries. I bet if you asked yourself how you felt about postpartum, you may think something negative too. So it’s worth repeating: postpartum is not depression or hemorrhage.
So what is postpartum? That’s what Serenity Grows is here for. I’m going to redefine postpartum for our culture. Why, you may ask? Because what we know of postpartum is wrong and it’s killing us mothers.
Let me start with my own story.
I started my journey into motherhood after a steady, long natural labor. And within two weeks, I was the most sleep deprived human on the planet. Then I became swallowed up in the throes of postpartum depression. I had spent nearly 9 months working so hard to figure out labor and how to give birth in a way that I wanted, but I completely forgot everything postpartum.
The next year was incredibly difficult. I was alone in my journey, parenting without support or help. I became a single parent and felt even more deeply wrong. I didn’t understand why I was given a kid. I didn’t understand why I was in this place. I was so sad and couldn’t figure out why simply breathing was difficult (really, I felt like I literally couldn’t breathe). I had truly lost my sense on who I was.
I became an observer of my son. Yes, I was his sole provider and cared for him, changed his diaper, bathed him, gave him everything I could, but I was hardly present. I wasn’t truly “there”. Looking back at those pictures of our time and I see the disconnected mother I was. It still saddens me.
And I never told a sole.
Around the time he was 3 months, I made a decision to get out of this dark hole that takes so many mamas victim. I was already in the middle of studying to be a childbirth educator and I made it a priority to research and understand and change my current position. But it wasn’t for me. It was for my baby boy.
Within a year, I was out of depression, teaching others about my journey, about birth and postpartum. I developed my own proprietary tools and curriculum, all based on research and the countless educational courses I invested in.
Soon, I was running pregnancy and postpartum retreats, teaching classes, writing books, attending births, serving on both local and national boards regarding labor and postpartum, speaking at local gatherings and universities, and even sharing my story with other amazing mothers on TV. I also went on to have two more babies, both being beautiful and transformative postpartum experiences (even with my brief encounter with postpartum bi-polar with my 3rd which I detail here).
I had figured out what was wrong in postpartum.
Postpartum is an incredibly raw and vulnerable time that varies greatly between women. Although it’s experienced differently, there is an underpinning similarity between them all. To define this time as the period it takes for the uterus to return to its pre-pregnancy size (6 weeks) is solely physiological, medically subjective, and misses the point completely.
So I, Maranda Bower, owner of Serenity Grows, am redefining postpartum. I’m sharing with mothers everywhere EXACTLY what postpartum is, encompassing every aspect of becoming a mother.
What is really postpartum, you ask?
Postpartum is a critical window of time following the birth of a baby (lasting a minimum of 40 days) and encompasses both mother and baby through a transformative period of bonding, healing, and rejuvenation.dd
To break the definition down:
Postpartum is a significant life event involving the birth of both baby and the birth of a mother.
40 days marks the minimum postpartum time (also known as the 4th trimester). Most women don’t fully recovery from postpartum for at least two years after giving birth!
The mother and baby relationship is extraordinarily influential in postpartum.
The postpartum transformation lasts a lifetime. A new mother will never be her “normal” again, but transformed.
Postpartum is a time of bonding.
Postpartum is a time of healing from birth and from pregnancy.
Postpartum is a time of rejuvenation. During postpartum, the female body is in its most raw state, with all “layers” peeled away. This transformative time can offer renewal, mending, and repair that extend far more deeply than just healing from birth.
What we know of as postpartum in our culture, how we approach it with absentmindedness and trepidation, eagerly seeking a way to get back to “normal” and completely misunderstanding the rawness of the postpartum body, is the very thing that’s making postpartum so dang difficult.
It isn’t anyone’s fault, really. Postpartum is so raw and intimate that it’s been kept hidden in our modern days. The medical field is just now studying Postpartum Mood Disorders within the last decade (seriously. And postpartum has been around since… THE BEGINNING).
Mamas in our society simple don’t know how to approach this period of time. We aren’t given tips on how to bond with our baby, or how to heal faster, or what to eat to build back what was lost in pregnancy. Our postpartum body is in such an open and vulnerable state, and mama’s know nothing on how to care for it. Then we fall deeply; we bleed longer, experience autoimmune issues, digestive problems, hormone imbalances, mood disorders, and a whole list of problems, and blame postpartum.
This isn’t postpartum. It’s the result of not understanding the nature of this time and how to make the best of it. And this is where Serenity Grows comes in.
In working with 100’s of women in their labor and postpartum journeys, going on to have more beautiful babies of my own, and studying the many cultures who have mastered the art of postpartum, I am certain that this new definition and way of approaching this period is the missing link we’ve all been waiting for.
I’ve experienced this beautiful transition myself. And I’ve seen it in my clients who use the tools and implement the knowledge I share with them. It’s absolutely inspiring, sacred, and downright wholesome. After my second baby, people would ask me how I was doing and I would respond that I was simply dancing in the field of flowers. The reality is that I felt alive, transformed into a mother of love and sacrifice, and deeply whole.
“Attended a postpartum retreat that Maranda hosted and it was amazing. I felt so lifted up and supported, was a truly wonderful experience.” – Jolie M.
“Absolutely going to change your life. 5☆ to infinity and beyond. Every mama needs this.” -LeeAnna C.
“There is so much growth and change that occurs once your baby is earth side. I was more than ecstatic to have someone to confide in and being introduced to lots of wonderful remedies and natural products to help me recover and embrace my transition into motherhood. Your world is forever changed once your baby arrives and I needed support. Serenity grows provided the insight, wisdom, and healing I needed…!” -Melissa K.
“Maranda is one of the most loving and caring women I have ever met. I was privileged to participate in one of her Serenity Circles and it was so helpful and healing!” -Mary S.
Over the course of the next few months, I’ll be sharing some powerful information with you about postpartum. It doesn’t matter if you’ve just given birth to your first, or about to have your sixth. It doesn’t matter if you’re holistic or medically inclined. This information can change the course of your mothering life.
So without further ado, I invite you to join me in this movement – the Postpartum Movement, #SerenityPostpartum. Together, we can change the way we experience postpartum. Together, we can bring hope, love, strength, and community to a time of great change and uncertainty.